Catching out a Catfisher (Fake profile)!

Recently I was approached by a guy on Facebook, who turned out to be fake.

And why am I blogging about it? To raise awareness!

I tried to reach out to Twitter to find the real person behind the photos, and have since had at least one comment; “Why is it necessary to find the real guy?”

It’s not, really, but I wanted to the following:

  1. make sure the real guy knew what was going on, so he can report the profile and it have more chance of it being removed (he’s a real human being at the end of the day);
  2. have a real name so I can report the accounts – sometimes you need a real name otherwise you cannot report, I noticed this on Twitter!
  3. make a difference. I consider myself an influencer. I’m an author. I might not be popular, as I’m only starting my journey, but as such I want to use that rather small voice to make a difference. If even one person reads this, I feel like I’ve helped at least one person! Therefore, if I could get the real name of the lovely guy being the photo, it would make a bigger impact (although, because I haven’t got permission from the real guy, I have had to keep his identity private!)

First, let me explain what happened. I came across a Facebook page which shows tattooed men (I like tattoos and appreciate good ink!) and I came across a really cool back piece! I, with my silly sence of humour, said ‘Where can I get one?’ (and yes, I did mean the guy… although in real life, I am interested in more than just a guy’s good looks!)

A guy approached me and said ‘I’m here Penny. Hit me up!’ and had a profile picture of a guy next to a beautiful staffordshire terrier (a staff to us common people!), so I thought… hey, why not! So, I added him! (I’m a sucker for handsome tattooed men with dogs/cats!)

Basic RGB[image source: http://www.shibdenheadprimaryacademy.co.uk/e-safety/%5D

I knew instantly, when he accepted my request, he wasn’t real. At least not the person behind the photos. He kept repeating the words ‘sexy’ and then said he was US Intelligence. Yeah, pretty cool, but you don’t need to be too smart to realise that those who are in any form of Intelligence, whether that is the US, UK or otherwise, do NOT openly admit it to people they hardly know!

Not to mention, I absolutely HATE it when people judge me for my looks, I don’t think I’m exactly attractive; I’m not a model, but I respect people more if they are actualling interested in knowing about ME… not what’s on the outside! So, even if this guy turned out to be real, I instantly took a dislike to him.

The other scary thing is… he was emotionally manipulative. I unfortunately haven’t got access to the messages he sent anymore, as the profile has been removed since (unfortunately not my doing!), but he said things like ‘don’t scare me off you’, after I called him out whether he was real or not. I’ve been in an emotionally manipulative relationship before, I DONT take kindly to it, and do not tollerate it at all!

sydney-sims-521161-unsplash[Image Source: http://yourrelationshipspecialist.co.uk/gaslighting-and-emotional-abuse/%5D

So, I had one of two choices; block and ignore, or call him out.

I was really worried about vulnerable people, including young girls, coming across this guy. So, I put it upon myself to do some digging! Within a few hours, I found the real guy!

I have a few ‘acquaintances’ who are models, so I asked them if they recognised the guy in the photo, unfortunately no one did.

I also tweeted, with no success! (Including a few models, although I don’t follow models – I appreciate the male body, but I’m not interested in goggling – so I know absolutely nothing about the modelling world, so I had to find some ‘male tattooed models’ in order to tweet, gave up pretty quickly with that idea! No one’s going to listen to a crazy English chick, anyway!)

Luckily, however, one of my friends managed to reverse search the images the catfisher was using and we found a few websites where the photos were being used!

Ironically, I came across yet ANOTHER fake profile on Twitter, thinking it was the real guy, but found the same ‘person’ on Facebook and I realised this was yet another fake profile! Luckily someone else knew the real guy in the photo and called him out on Facebook! (The Twitter profiles have been reported!)

I finally found the real guy behind the pictures!

I was hoping for a lovely dramatic ending to this little adventure, by messaging the guy on Facebook and hoping to reverse catfish the catfisher or something similar, but unfortuantely the catfisher has since been removed from Facebook, and the real model hasn’t responded.

anticlimax
[Image source: https://thesaurus.plus/related/anticlimax/climax%5D

So, why am I telling you this? To raise awareness! I’m not suggesting everyone does what I did, it can be quite dangerous to do! Especially if the catfisher knows a lot about you already! If you think you’re being catfished, or it seems too good to be true, it probably is! Follow your gut! Block and delete! If you’re worried, talk to someone!

And yes, some catfishers are after money. But NOT ALL OF THEM! Some of them are predators… and they can worm their way into your life over MONTHS… just because you have known them for weeks/months, doesn’t mean they are genuine! PLEASE be careful!

I have deliberately kept the names of my acquaintances and the real model behind the photos hidden! I don’t have permission to use the model’s photos, and this model is in the public eye, it would be unfair for him getting negativity because of someone else.

This goes for both women and men, men can be just as much a target! If you think you are being catfished or are worried about the identity of someone online, talk to someone!

Stay safe, everyone. x

Is Feminism discriminating?

I have these random thoughts sometimes, I might be sat watching a boring go-compare advert with the sound off like usual (I’m not discriminating go-compare, I hate all adverts equally!) while drinking a cup of tea wondering about the etymology of the word ‘tea’, or I might be staring at a bar of soap in the shower and wondering how they get the colour into it.

So, I had one today, while thinking about discrimination, as that’s something I’m extremely interested in, as I hate any form of discrimination, gender, race, belief, and don’t even get me started on age discrimination! And I had a thought to myself, we focus so much on the discrimination of women, girls, and currently gender-fluid and trans-gender people, but what about men?

I looked up the word ‘feminism’ in the dictionary after this, and this is what my ‘Concise Oxford English Dictionary’ said: “feminism (n.) the advocacy of women’s right on the grounds of sexual equality”.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fantastic that women’s rights are now held in high regard, but shouldn’t we be focusing on all gender rights? Not just women’s? I don’t mean to say that we should focus on men’s right separately, but combine them all and say gender rights.

Of course, there is already ‘gender equality’ and the WHO regard these rights as ‘Gender and human rights’. So I’m not suggesting that we create one already, as it is already a thing! I’m suggesting to move away from the idea of feminism and focus on gender as a whole.

I know Feminism has been shrouded in negative light in some cases, some women go the extreme and suggest that women are ‘better’ than men, and this is wrong. I am a woman, but I do not see myself as ‘better’ than anyone, just because I have breasts and the female reproductive organ! And I also know that not all feminists think like this either and have to fight their way through the negativity given to feminism.

But maybe we ‘should’ focus on all gender equality, and move away from this notion of feminism? So that we do not lose sight of the whole idea of gender equality and how women’s rights came into power. It’s to be seen as equal alongside men.

Yes, there is still discrimination out there for women, I’ve come across it myself, first hand. Working as a fitter at Halfords and men telling me they do not want to talk to me because it’s a ‘man’ thing. Yet I probably knew more than most of the guys who worked there!

Anyway, back onto male discrimination. I’ve heard stories in my time about men’s mental health issues (another topic I’m extremely interested in!) or spousal abuse. Looking mostly at spousal abuse, the first thing that comes to mind, and I hate to admit it but it comes to my mind too (I guess this is the power of social ‘normality’), you immediately imagine a man hitting a woman. But it is KNOWN that women can hit men too, I’ve seen campaigns, been enthused on the idea of raising awareness for men. And yes, it is being tackled, but is it enough? I’ve seen shelters for women who escape domestic abuse, are there any for men?

Of course, there are campaigns to raise awareness for male mental health issues, and spousal abuse, and I know one recently in the UK has been endorsed and that is car insurance for male and female drivers. Originally it was cheaper for a woman to get car insurance because they’re classed as safer drivers (*coughdontmentionmyaccidentcough*) but eventually it was deemed discriminating and they changed the car insurances so that they match regardless of gender. Aside from the idea that they might have only put up the female driver’s costs and not lower the male drivers, nor a mixture of the two, as that’s a whole different subject!

But this is one good example that has shown that male discrimination is being tackled, so well done UK. Hopefully it’ll improve!

My love to all genders, whether your male, female, gender-fluid, trans-gender, or if you are a whole new gender yet to show your beautiful self to this world (alien?) ❤